Funky Fairy Fission

(to the tune of Tone Loc's "Funky Cold Medina")

cold cooling in a dungeon
gettin' too much action
but like Ganon said
I can't get no satisfaction
the baddies are all around
but none of them wanna leave me
my threads were fresh and I'm looking dead
yo, wassup with the vanished boss?
the baddies are all fleeing
from the other end of the room
gettin' cut by some blade-wielding chump
when they know that I'm the star
so I got up and limped over
to the other side of the division
I asked the guy, "why you so fly?"
he said "funky fairy fission."

this brother told me a secret
on how to get more hearts
put a little Fission in your glass
and the health'll come real quick
it's better than any alcohol
or herbal medicine
a couple of sips of this life potion and they'll be in your hands
so I gave some to my horse, when she began to beg
and then she reared up and she looked at me
and rode off without a word
she used to let me ride her
before I was much much tougher
but now all the horses run from my hands 'cause of the funky fairy fission

you know what I'm saying
I got every horse in my land runnin' far from me
I got no ride, no transport
they won't come back with that fairy thing

I went up to this guy
he said "Hi, my name Sheik"
I thought he'd be good to fight with a little Funky fairy fission,
he said "I'd like a drink", I said "ok, I'll go get it"
and then a couple of sips, he cold licked his lips and I knew that he was
with it
so I took him to the boss
and everything went well as planned
but when he got undressed it was big old mess
Sheik was a chick
so I died of fright
I don't fool around with no magic wardrobe errs
you must be sure that the partner's pure for the funky fairy fission

you know,
ain't playin' with a liar,
this is the modest and I'm down with the honest.

break it down!

back in the arena, looking for a little affliction
I took a shot, I thought I'd test it on the Big Kahuna
the audience guests voted, and you know, they picked a winner
I took my chances to the dark castle to face Gannon, the bad commander
he hit me bad, I'm thinking soon what I'd be getting,
but that's when he starting talking 'bout plans for a wedding,
I said "wait, slow down dude, not so fast, I'll be seeing ya",
that's why I found you don't play around with the funky fairy fission.

you know what I'm saying
that fission's a monster y'all